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Poems - Humorous - Group 4
Hairy Back
Why is the hair on a man's chests
Considered to be at its best;
But on the other side, on his back
It is a visual attack?
Why some consider those who lack
Hair on their head, chest or back
Attractive, sexy, a priceless pack,
While others think him a hairless sack?
Hair on the head, back or chest
For attraction is not a test;
Whether you see or you're blind
Attraction is in your mind.© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
August 30, 1997
Blind Date
One night I went out on a date
With a lady, beautiful, straight.
My blind date was so great
We got along without debate;
We drove, we walked, we drank and ate
We talked, we sang and danced till late.
That night was great, how fortunate
Till our next date I could not wait.
Soon I found out she sought her mate
This process she'd accelerate;
Rather than waiting for its natural fate
Her impatience turned into hate.
Though we tried to ameliorate
Our relationship did deteriorate.
Patience is great, better to wait
And let things grow at a natural rate
Impose and push, force, agitate
You'll only close the open gate.© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
September 17 , 1997
Size Really doesn't Matter
If size really mattered in sex
We'd all be chasing Brontosaurus Rex.
If we look at the small text
We'd move along to the next
Step, stop being vexed
And thinking ourselves to be hexed.We'll stop our useless patter
As well as our inner chatter.
Ourselves, we needlessly flatter,
Size Really doesn't matter.© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
September 29 , 1997
On the John
Sometimes I just have to run
To go and sit on the John
And shortly after, I am done.Other times I sit on the throne
Patiently waiting on my own,
Until from me roots are grown.Up and down, quick and slow
Is the way of natural flow
In life this is how we grow.© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
October 2, 1997
Constipation
My friend told me about her experience of constipation
How she longed to go, yet her body acted in contradiction,
Then graphically described her flawed process of digestion
The poisoning of her body through her inner infestation,
Until she finally experienced that moment of ecstatic elation
The letting go, dislodging, and return to her normal alimentation.In life towards many things we become oversensitive
Stressed, obsessed, mentally and emotionally retentive,
But if we simply allow ourselves to relax and let go
Dislodge, expel, eject, and simply away throw,
We will stop the poisoning of our soul through our spiritual bowel
Peace and serenity, joy and elation into our lives shall call.© Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
June 24, 1997
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