Shahriar Shahriari

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Poems - Soul Journey - Group 7
iv. Spiritual Death


A few weeks ago I met an old lady
Eighty four she was, for death getting ready
Her body fragile, her energy feeble
Her mind clear, her soul nimble.

Lived a good life, she said
Now its time to go, be dead
Why fear death and go screaming
When I am grateful, gloating, gleaming
My body is weak, its job is done
No point in staying, its time to run
If I hang on, I'll deteriorate and drown
Quit while ahead, go with a saintly crown.

She glowed with the light of a saint
Though her eyes dim, her voice faint
She was a walking inspiration
In spite of her failing respiration
For she showed how to let go, release
Without bitterness, remorse, with perfect ease.
For to die is to be born anew
Out of this womb where foetal spirit grew
And to let go, is so much power
Freedom to live life in every hour.

And now in a much smaller way
I prepare my own spirit, I pray
For a spiritual death of some sort
To release my soul from this material court
And to die to all that I've ever known
If God wills, they can all be away thrown
And if I'm honoured and seated upon a throne
So be it, and so be it if there is nothing shown
For to die, I will simply die
Anything else is futile to try.

Friends say there will come resurrection
For this is the way of creation
Some say all will be all right
Just make sure you keep your head light
Others want to save me from me
They're concerned where my senses did flee
But I know any expectation
Is not death, only playful temptation.

For to die means to let go
To go forth, where to, I don't know
To a place where all is simple, bear
Perhaps far, where no one will care
Perhaps there will be no milk or honey
And a place where I'll have no money
Poverty, riches, dearth or wealth
Difficulty, ease, sickness, health
I know not, but it matters not
For to let go, means let go of the lot
And detach from expectations all
Good or bad, enter God's Great Hall.

And in these last few days of mine
When the life I know is on the line
All I see, hear, and feel is fine
Everything tastes as sweet as wine.

I cry, my own death I mourn
I'll miss the life I've outworn.

Everything looks sharper than before
Oh my god, how I crave for more
And I know days are going fast
And I know this will not last
I try to put my affairs in order
When I die, they should not falter.

And upon this journey I embark
I descend into the deep dark
And if I return untouched
All things that I have watched
Would have changed me already
I remain calm, steady.
If I return transformed
Any visions I've now formed
Would matter not for they shall change
So why create futile challenge.
And if I do not return at all
No matter how events befall
I gladly surrender to the will of God
I trust in God's plan, no matter how odd.

And let it be known that in my insanity
A mystic lies, far from vanity.
The mystical love compulsively drives
A flame that on the candle wax thrives
And in this death the only thing that survives
An intense glow, a bright light for expansion strives
And it expands to embrace all that is
And if it fails, it fails, be gentle please.

Shahriar Shahriari
Vancouver, Canada
March 28, 1997

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